A slogan on one of the Jay’s t-shirts that I wish I had.
I am a self-proclaimed chump. Which is okay…there are so many positives to being in love from afar… In love with somebody who probably has no idea I exist…
Unrequited Love is safe.
There are no obligations with this kind of love.
No annoying morning texts.
No crazy. Well. Maybe a little bit of crazy, but none that anyone else has to endure.
None of that crummy stuff that I mentioned in an earlier post.
I only see this one guy, at best, twice a week. Sometimes not at all…and they are fleeting moments. Moments that couldn’t determine to either of us who we are. Moments that wouldn’t be worth mentioning with anyone else.
We smile, say “Hi” and “Thanks”, hold doors and gates open for each other and overhear conversations that are had with other people. We know nothing about each other, everything is an assumption based on face value.
Are we married? Are we single? Do we work? Where do we work? Do we like the same things? Are our haircuts picked out purposefully or are they what we live with from lack of time? Are we rich? Are we poor? Do we have lots of friends or one…or none? Do we choose our own fashion or have a partner who chooses for us? Do we love who we are or wish for something else? Do we watch sports or read? Are our houses messy or clean?
All the answers to these questions are irrelevant in Unrequited Love World.
We know first names. We know fashion sense. We know our form of transport. We know assumptions…
But really, we don’t know each other. At all. And that’s okay.
He knows random trivia. He rides a skateboard. He wears a suit and a fedora, every, single, day. He is the very definition of intriguing.
He makes me smile. That ridiculous kind of smile that nobody else sees.
He asks me how I am and all I can blurt out is “Thanks.”.
Every moment is a quick glance and an awkward-looking-at-my-feet-with-a-stupid-cackle-moment.
He seems like an amazing Dad. The kind of Dad who has fun and pulls silly faces regardless of what other people think.
I dreamt one night that he asked me out for coffee…and he proceeded to tell me about his life, who he REALLY was and what he wanted out of life… I can’t remember the words he said, all I can recall is screaming “No! I don’t want to know! You’re ruining everything!”
The fact is, that as much as he makes me smile and he seems amazing, I really don’t want to know anything more than I already do.
That would ruin the magic of Unrequited Love.
Freeze the beautiful stage. The stage where he is flawless. The stage where we are completely unaware of hardship and issues and work and insanity. The fairy tale stage.
As long as it never goes any further than this, he will be the perfect “What If” and that makes me deliriously happy.